In our culture that seeks to drown pain and reaches for pleasure at all costs, we miss hearing the somber tones in the heartbeat of God. Certainly His heart beats the bright tones of joy and the soft tones of peace and the strong tones of love. But joy is borne of sorrow, and love hurts, and the heart of God also beats the deep tones of lament.
“Rejected by His people, hounded by a hopeless sense of separation from the ones He loved the most - the Lord shared these feelings with His young shepherd king. David would lament them again and again to God, as God would lament them through David. Lament became a bridge between them. They would cross it again and again in their loneliness and find each other.” (Michael Card, A Sacred Sorrow, p. 68)
In lament, we hear and share the pain in the heart of God. The pain of separation. The longing for presence and oneness. We affirm with God that this is not how things should be. When we deny ourselves permission to lament, we cut ourselves off not only from our own hearts, and from those around us, but also from the heart of God.
As we lament our sin, declaring our inability to repair the problems in us and around us, the kingdom of God comes near. Sorrow breaks through into praise. The One who himself laments disrupted relationship draws near to comfort and restore. And we hear the Heartbeat that speaks the final Word of Love.
“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” (Matthew 5: 3-4)
The Choosing to Feel
sometimes it feels so hard
it seems that all our love
all our attempts to help
are rebuffed
Sometimes I wonder
why do we even bother?
Wouldn’t it be easier
to close our eyes to the pain
to choose not to see
not to love
and thus not to feel the hurt ourselves?
• • • • •
It started well Gen 1
pure love
complete intimacy
perfection
delight in creating
satisfaction in the created
“It is good” Gen 1:31
desire Gen 1:26
to share the enjoyment
then . . .
loneliness as you looked for your friends? Gen 3:8-9
hurt at their hiding from you. . .
at the maligning of your motives? Gen 3:2-5
grief at the so-rapid destruction of your joyfully created beauty?
anger at the Evil that had done this. . . Gen 3:14
the twisting of your words. . .
the deceit?
the murder of one you loved Gen 4:4, 10
rising violence and wickedness until
only evil, evil, evil
evil thoughts, evil actions Gen 6:5
and for you
as you watched
deeper and deeper grief
intolerable pain Gen 6:6
the decision to extinguish Gen 6:7
all of your ruined creation
to wipe out
the evil
and hence the pain
• • • • •
Another decision
a choice Gen 9:9-17
a promise
the decision to never again
so completely destroy
even ruined creation
the choice to feel
to love
the promise to continue in relationship
despite the risk of pain
• • • • •
too soon
more desperate hurt
a vying for your place Gen 11:4
again a choice
a promise
not only to keep loving
but to bless Gen 12:3
all nations
All.
All those you had just scattered in punishment Gen 11:6-9
and protection
• • • • •
Love
tenderness Is 63:15
yearning Jer 31:20
hurt
grief Jer 3:19-20
anger Ps 95:10
Deut 32:19
longing Is 30:18
rejection Deut 32:15-18
as time and again Is 53:3
those you loved so passionately
those you chose
also chose . . .
a lifeless, worthless substitute Jer 2:11-13
over the living, life-giving You
Again and again
a choice
to keep feeling
keep loving
the love and the pain
inseparable
“What can I do with you?” Hos 6:4
. . . yet “How I can I give you up?” Hos 11:8
“And he could bear Israel’s misery no longer” Judg 10:16
“His heart was filled with pain” Gen 6:6
“Enough!” 2 Sam 24:16
So often seemingly too much to bear
. . . yet
. . . the choice
Again and again
judgement
but always too a reaffirmation
of the choice
to keep feeling
to keep loving
to open yourself to the certainty of more pain
more tears
Indescribable grief Matt 26:38
desertion Matt 27:46
rejection Matt 27:22
intolerable pain Luke 22:44
alone in your death.
• • • • •
“Take up your cross” Matt 16:24
that instrument of pain
The same choice
To follow me John 15:12-13
you must choose to feel
the pain that comes with loving
There is no other way. Luke 14:27
